January has been a soft and delicious month for me, after the intensity of the last quarter of 2018, I needed the month to be spacious, with plenty of time for catching up with friends, time for crochet-just-for-fun, for reviewing and planning all the things that really fill me up.
Piling on the pressure to start a New Year differently is massive isn’t it? I’ve been really aware of it. However that impulse to renew is unmistakably alluring… over the last few years I have begun to get fitter, taking in an exquisite nutritional and exercise class and cani-crossing with my Lab/collie cross. However whilst my body changed I began to realise that actually I was still just dashing about and well, truthfully with 3 kids and a small holding I do quite enough of that already! I still want to feel healthy without all the pounding..
A Squash and a Squeeze
At present I am cultivating a theory that January is like the children’s book: A Squash and a Squeeze. Maybe you’ve read it? It’s about a woman who feels like her house it too small, so she asks a Wise Old Man to help her. He advises that she invites all her furry and feathered friends to come and live with her, asking more and more in until her house is FULL to bursting, spilling out of the windows and doors. Eventually, after living like this for a while, until she can no longer manage he suggests that they all leave. To the woman’s surprise, the house now feels Palatial and she loves it. Genius!
The Feeling of Space
In many ways November and December as a Maker/Mother/Human Being is a bit like inviting most of the farmyard into your kitchen isn’t it (mine has just recovered)?
However, the upside is that January feels so full of S p a c e with it’s gentle, misty greys and slow steady rhythm. The Wild keeps calling and I am happy to listen, feeling it important to feed my soul and replenish. Taking time to let 2019 unfold, pushing gently and letting new ideas come and play a while. There’s plenty of space to dream and observe and as a result my mind is racing and so keen to get on.. pingy and vibrant, and I’m sure it comes because the rest of the natural world is so still. These themes have become strong for me:
Quietly I have begun to acknowledge on a deeper level that my making ability brings as much joy, comfort and happiness to others as it does to me. This blows my mind in every single way as it means that what I create is both valued and loved. That is truly humbling.
Last year I manoeuvered and adapted my working opportunities to include being outside, alot. I thrive when outside but I hadn’t realised just how much – needing the combination of space, the elements, and working physically to feel whole and well. Last summer was a totally beauty to be out all day every day!
In the last three weeks I have swum once a week in the Sea with a group of other Nutters aptly named The Bluetits. It is the most insane, crazy, happy, joy-filled experience that I have encountered in a long time. There is NO way I would go in without these people – are you mad? It’s freezing! Swimming in my bobble hat, surrounded by others laughing, and singing/yelling whilst feeling the surging of the Sea is indescribable. The after swim Buzz is addictive and filling my soul with All The Feels. Utterly Magical. It has bouncing me all the way through January with light and smiles – I don’t even care what the weather is doing!!
3. Finding my Tribe
I am not great in social gatherings mostly I find them a little overwhelming and uncomfortable; small talk fills me with dread. Instead, I love engaging with smaller groups; especially those on the same sort of best self journey. These encounters fill me with inspiration and keep my introverted tendencies bubbling along nicely. Spending days puttering about in quiet activity is my daily jam. This year I want to explore the gifts of my nature and work to their strengths.
There we have it. Nothing groundbreaking but still powerful for me, never the less. 2019 is the year to integrate these three themes equally in a way this is enlivening, joyful and expansive. I’m looking forward to the challenge!! I want to feed my physicality rather than ‘working out’ and feed my soul rather than fill my head. Accountability definitely works, so by joining groups I am much more likely to show up, for them and for me (I love knowing this!).
One final note:
All for the Love of Grey
Gentle January has blessed me with a new appreciation of Grey; which seems to have gained a home affectionately in my heart. I love the way she holds me and lays herself quietly over everything she’s near. Unassumingly supporting the colour next to her with kind words of encouragement.
Everything looks great next to Grey, doesn’t it?
Grey Mizzle feels great on my skin as it mists my face and turns my hair curly-crazy.
Grey-pink of the dusk arising from the Grey-yellowy-apricot of the afternoon.
Grey-green of the pounding Seas as the Grey-blue as the clouds give way to cold clear blue winter skies.
Grey-grey as layer upon layer of mist descend, graduating from dark to light like today.
Deep dark grey and grey-white clouds as all the excitement and promise of Snow arrives, I am all for the love of Grey this month.
I hope that January has had moments of softness and gentility for you, I know it can be a tough one.
If anything has resonated or provoked a thought that you’d like to share I would love to hear from you, or if you think a friend who would like this monthly review please do send it on x
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